A difficult childhood left my self-esteem in tatters and I was quite unprepared for life as a result. Life and the world at large, is tough enough as it is, let alone having my own 'enemy' in my head, coming with me everywhere I went!
For a long time, I thought I was stuck with feeling this way about myself - I didn't know how to change it. Sure, I wanted to be confident and I wanted to love myself but truly it was an alien concept to me. I simply did not know how to do it.
Then life decided to throw a whole load of challenges my way, all at once, all at the same time and for a while it felt like there was nowhere left to run. If I could have bought a ticket out of my life, I would have done it. Sure I'd been through some tough times before and pulled through, some very tough times in fact, but this time it was different.
I knew I had to change. I knew I had to dig deep and 'heal' myself because until I did, life would just keep knocking me off balance and I'd keep getting lost in the storms. I needed to find my roots and I need to dig them deep in the earth, strong and firm. Most of all, I needed to find me, the me I'd lost such a long time ago - the me that had got buried under all the self-hate.
And so that's what I did and today I can write this, with real confidence in myself. I know I have something of value to say. My inner 'enemy' has got bored I think and buggered off, because I didn't listen to it very much anymore. Sometimes it still catches me out but I soon put myself right again - we all have off days after all.
So I hope you will benefit from the sharing of the wisdom I have gained through painful experience. If you are sitting here reading this with low self-esteem about yourself, you don't know how wrong you are. You are wonderful, but you just don't know it - you've forgotten who you are.
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